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The thing is what is my priority in life? Have i even consider my boyfriend as my priority?

I used to prioritize all these.

1. My family

2. My work

3. My friend

4. Other misc. stuffs.

Yes and my boyfriend mentioned that he is way beyond 3rd in my list. Firstly, I know that I prioritize my family very much because it's always in my list. The place of him in my heart. It's really confusing. Is it too little or is it too much??? I don't get it. Maybe too little in the sense that I give a much little effort. (I don't wish to google on that. That amounts to over reliant on the internet I guess) I remember him saying that "It'd be nice if you can do that. It'd be nice if you can send me home." Maybe I should start putting myself in his shoe? How am i suppose to do that when I can't even remember? Why is my memory so bad, I really blame myself.

I couldn't get any further. What's wrong with me? Why is it that things that people think so fast is totally slow for me? Why can't i appreciate more? I don't get it? Why? Why??

And i suddenly remember about all the things that he said. I am quite lost actually.

Effort that's a strong word.

*PS: Not sleepy today. I spent 1 and a half hr sleeping. But didn't get much work done due to my r/s issue. Am i a automatic person? No. I am definitely not. Because it takes time for me to react and process, that's why i am very scared. I need to be fast. Faster. So that i can be better. There's simply too much stress going on in my life that i can't multitask. That sucks!!!!!!!!!!!

And i need to find a way out. In putting efforts.

Why am i not putting efforts? Is it because i am spoon feed too much? Why? WHY? Too complacent? Why? Too COMFORTABLE?

I think, it's the small little thoughts that count.

signing off

sj-jiienx

But there is no reply from you~

Why does everything feel emo now?

Is it because you weren't here?

*[I'll be right here waiting for you]*

*Wherever you go

whatever you do

i'll be right here waiting for you

whatever it takes

or how my heart breaks

i 'll be right here waiting for you

Still, there isn't a message~

Today is the 11th month.

Hmm..

It's raining, as usual i feel emo.

Why do i have to face the emoness again?

I hate the emptiness, i hate the quietness.

I hate the restlessness!

WHY??

Dear blog, please advice.

*ps: Not even a message. How can my friend sustain a 3 year r/s??

Signing off

sj-jienx

I feel miserable and i need a place to share.

I know its not my fault but I am getting so tired of everything.

I really don't understand a lot of things.

There are some life lessons which i need to learn.

Even a very simple 123 or 3+4=7, everything have to be learn from scratch.

why are things happening in this way??

Why am I so miserable?

Why do I feel emptiness?

I have a lot of assignments to do and i should not be worrying about all these things but it's really quite stress. I need time to figure it out even though its trivial.

I need space as well. Cos i don't really understand myself!

Like seriously!! My head is scratching badly??

Is my attitude bad?? Like B-A-D??

I am really confused~~

Life is shitty for me right now and i can't even concentrate on my assignment!!!!

signing off

jiienx

It's been a while since i last blog. It's like i have departed from the world of blogging because of many reasons. I don't think i need to further elaborate on that.

I really don't understand who am i?

What kind of person i wanna be?

Or is it i should change?

Or i need to establish myself some place which is closer to my world?

I seriously don't know.

Well, emo.

What is it that i want in life?

To achieve something, to obtain a balance, to seek an perfection to satisfy myself? Or what?

Have you ever thought of what you hope to achieve in life? I realise I just need a place to vent or I just need a true good friend, someone whom I can trust and foster close bonds with..

Sometimes i feel that life sucks. Still got the emptiness. Somehow, it likes to follow me~

Signing off

sj-jiienx

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO MY BOYFRIEND =D

I Miss you I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU!!!

X 10000000000000

Life is a bit empty here!

I need to think~ of you~~

Signing off

sj-jiienx

sleeping early because tomorrow have to work!

If there is a chance for me to renew my life, i would definitely not know this class.

Because the chalet sucks. Eee, not gonna to join anymore chalet in the future be it whatever hell excuse i have! A BIG FAT NO. For my info, i am going to mia from this sucky class.

Makes me want to puke!!! YUCKS!

That's why we choose to leave. Let me compose a shit for my class~~~

[Nothing but a F***]

It's not gonna be the same

It's not gonna change

It's just another F***ing S

A class which I have been

The world may revolve

Disaster, earthquakes, floods, volcano

But the stupid class won't change

It just won't it just won't

So please send me away

from this SHIT

and may GOD BLESS ME WITH HAPPINESS!

*Ps: The chalet is soooo boring!